132 minutes

My left ear is still burning and I am sure it is red. Not that it would bother me at all, as I am feeling as happy, proud, comfortable, relieved, grateful as it gets. I guess that’s what one is supposed to feel like when an old friendship that had collected a lot of dust over the last 4 years still shines as bright as it used to.

Ok. Maybe I am exaggerating a little bit. 4 years of mostly total silence is a long time. At our age, a lot of things happen in 4 years, change in social status, new homes, new jobs, new friends etc. And 4 years worth of important, difficult, happy moments that aren’t shared has to create a little distance. But to me, right now, it’s so minimal that it doesn’t even merit a second thought.

I was a little nervous picking up the phone this evening. I had other things to do but I had already tried a few times in the last month to call her, played a bit of voice mail tag and wasn’t going to let time get ahead of me. 4 years already was much too long.

Some friendships are lost once they aren’t maintained. Others run too deep to ever loose.
“I am glad to hear your voice, and I am glad to realise that it feels as if nothing (didn’t) happened. I was a little worried that it might be like getting into a car that hasn’t been driven in a long while, you know when the engine starts to stutter or worse remains silent.” I tell her after listening to her fill me in with the last years events.
“You mean like ptt-pttptt-ptt-puuuuuuuuuuuuuut?”
Yes, nothing has changed, we still understand each other perfectly.

I think we’ve covered the most important things, caught up on our present situations, personal and professional, talked about our relationships, families, what it feels like to be a Swiss abroad, what it feels like to go back to visit, what we have learned in these 4 years and what we already knew. It took exactly 132 minutes. Wow. My ‘I hope we won’t end up in some odd silence’-worry completely unnecessary.

Although I didn’t realise it until today, I needed someone like this to talk to. Someone who can identify with the trials and tribulations of leaving a home country, the same home country behind, who comes across the same issues as I am coming across. Yes I have friends that are immigrants (in Toronto most people are), but I don’t have anybody my age who grew up in the same country, who understands what I mean when I say that I couldn’t go back to live where I came from, because I couldn’t deal with the narrow mindedness. Somebody who still appreciates that narrow mindedness when it comes certain traditions.

I will definitely call back. And it won’t be 2010. No, I think there’s a pretty good chance that these phonecalls will become – like they once were – a habit again, in the best sense of the word.


~ by spasmicallyperfect on November 28, 2007.

7 Responses to “132 minutes”

  1. Wow,it’s true women really know how to talk.Wonder who it was.Are you sure it wasn’t a man?

    Let’s just say she’s the one friend who would understand why you named your blog ‘diamonds and rust’. No, no man, for sure πŸ˜‰ .

  2. What a tribute to the ties of friendship.

    Thanks B. I am sure you can write some too.

  3. Arent conversations like that just the best? I have a friend that I havent seen since I was 12 .. it’s been 17 years since Ive seen this woman *then a girl, now a woman* and it’s been almost that long since Ive spoken to her, but we still keep in touch.
    Good friends are hard to come by, but when you get one .. cling on to it. Cherish it.

    Seems you know what I am talking about Red. And actually, THEY cling on to ME πŸ˜‰ .

  4. I want those old friendships but they are all lost to me. I want your friend, your love and your phone. πŸ™‚ We all need those people to talk to, truly.

    I’m so happy for you that you got to visit and that it worked out happily.

    Much peace to you today and every day.

    ~ RS ~

    Oh-oh, seems I better hide my friend, my love and my phone ;-). Sometimes lost friendships are nothing more than a phonecall away. Sometimes they might be a memory away, but if you listen really closely you can still hear them laughing, teasing you, and telling them how much you mean to them.

    The visit is still outstanding, but I won’t let 2008 end without seeing her in person. Thanks for coming by RS, always happy to see you.

  5. Aw Spaz,
    That’s wonderful. I have a few friends like that. Who can go out of touch for years and then when you talk to them it’s as though you just spoke yesterday. I’m glad you reconnected to someone who can give you the empathy of your experiences – no amount of money can replace something like that.

    Me too. I am very grateful. Thanks for coming by A.

  6. narrow mindedness
    whenever I visit an other country I realize this again, feel it. -just have been to visit a quite large and wide country..
    Why was I born here.
    What is the reason for me to live here.
    It is a narrow country, neighbours are near, too near, so we should open up the borders to realize they’re not a danger.
    Every country has got its energy, its themes.
    the solution is to accept things the way they are to let them go and not dominate anymore. There is freedom.
    And my own being

    well, it’s not easy.

    would be lovely, love-ly, to hear you soon again.

    time is a strange thing, sometimes a moment lasts for an eternity, some weeks seem just to last for only one short moment… or even years.
    it’s the point of view that makes the difference,
    truth is neither point nor view nor a moment nor weeks, well, it includes “knowledge” about our “words”.



    Hey my dear, sorry for the late answer. I got all your mail, thanks so much. I haven’t opened anything yet, but can’t wait. More later……

  7. funny, just the other day i read about the 9 muses again…

    Good to see that you are still reading….. πŸ˜‰

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