Who are you?


For a very long time I had been struggling with the question of who I am supposed to be. From the very beginning I seemed to fit various hats, I was nice but could be fierce when it came to defending an idea I believed in, I loved to travel to various places just as much as I loved to sit at home in my own four walls , I constantly swayed between a life of common sense and facts and a spiritual life, guided by what felt right, I excelled at business life but at the same time loved to read, write and ponder life’s big questions, I wanted to be a lone heroine and at the same time be part of a large, loud family. Contradictions, if not polar opposites wherever I looked.

Along came the theory that instead of finding who I am, I should be creating who I want to be. Although that concept spoke of endless freedom, it had in big bold letters the intimidating words TAKE RESPONSIBILITY plastered over that world’s entry gates.

I still fall into the old trap once in a while. Especially when it comes to making a decision that will have an outcome demanding a time comittment. Do I take the business course or do I take the writing class? Or do I take both which will take away time I spend with with my family (not to mention, friends) or do I do neither and spend more quality time with my husband? I have struggled the last couple of weeks because of course all of my priorities seem to need a bigger commitment at the same time. It took an unstoppable crying fit after a ‘Hallmark moment’- type commercial for me to realise that I had, once again, fallen into that same trap.

Be who you want to be.

Is it really as simple as that?

I believe so. And it being that simple means there is absolutely no excuse not to start/continue right now. There is no rule in this world that says that I can’t be a successful familymember, business person and writer at the same time, a person who is grounded but realises that truth only exists until it’s disproven. Since even the definition of ‘successful’ is for me to write, the canvas is wide open.

So – I am signing up for that business course, I’ll schedule some time slots for my writing purposes, and I’ll talk to Hubby, to see how we can make the most out of the next year including both our individual short term goals. And all of a sudden, being who I want to be doesn’t seem that difficult anymore. In actual fact, most of it, I am already.

And – who are you?


~ by spasmicallyperfect on August 27, 2007.

6 Responses to “Who are you?”

  1. heh. its interesting, that what you’ve written is pretty similarly true for me to.

    Even I happen to believe in doing and being what I want to…

    Well then, welcome to the club and thanks for stopping by 🙂

  2. Hi, I just stumbled on your blog and I’m so glad. This year has definitely been a year of “who am I” for me, and I think that you hit the nail on the head.

    I think that we all struggle with being the person that we want to be, but it’s those small steps in the decision making process that bring us closer. It sounds like you’re making the decisions that help you be the person you want to be, and that’s the best you can do! 🙂

    I recognise “those years” too. They show up once in a while and are vital for growing. I wish you all the strength and trust in yourself you’ll need for this year. Thanks for stopping by and leaving your footprint on my path. Be well.

  3. Some times I wonder the same questions, most of the time actually. As I read your intro I was amazed at how similar our stories are, minus the husband part, but so similar. I know now why I found your site. Anyway, I am impressed by the was you handle all these obstacles so calmly. I am not as calm and have my “Hallmark” moments more frequently and get bogged down by the difficult decisions. But for know I shall look to your words for inspiration.

    Thank you….

    Enreal. I find that the more I share my own stories I realise that they are not my own. That’s what’s so neat about ‘going public’ with thoughts and feelings. And regarding calm, it’s a journey I’m on not a destination I have reached. You understand what I am saying, yes?

  4. i could have written a version of this as it sounds familiar to me as well ~ its good to take charge and be who you want to be regardless of the seemingly endless contradictions … i like those contradictions 🙂

    i have some decisions of my own to be making, just not quite yet ..

    Seems that I’ll have to keep reading your blog to see what life changes are ahead 😉 .

  5. I am “moi” and I support the mention.


  6. Hey Spaz,
    Heady topic. I go through this frequently and I usually resolve to continue being who I want to be – but I am also reminded of that phrase, jack of all trades, master of none.

    Maybe we are all trying to be too many things, that the multi-tasking thing is getting out of control?

    For me, I just want to be a writer. And I find that all the other ‘be’s’ that I am due to necessity annoys the heck out of me.


    Actually I just found this poem by ‘Pessoa’ the other day (I’ll post it in a minute), reminded me of our desperate need to find answers and I couldn’t help but smile and appreciate. Seems to me you might too.

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