Kind – the new me?

 

I have met quite a few people lately. These people know me only from what speaks to them from images and emotions that arise when reading my lines and searching inbetween the blank spaces. Some of them have known me for a while, others only recently.

For me writing has always been the mode of transportation in the quest for the truth. Writing can be a Trojan horse, and there are people who are experts in creating lines so beautifully that the reader becomes blinded. For me, writing is the weapon to dismantel the Trojan horses that I create – consciously but often subconsciously – in my real life. It lets me see places that I can’t see through the daily fog, lets me be me, unfiltered and uncensored, unimpressed by what goes on outside of my body.

I used to joke with friends of mine: “If you really want to know how I feel about it, ask me to write about it”. Sometimes I did, but not without making sure that they would follow up with a conversation, as written communication leaves more room for misinterpretation, no eyes or body language or tone of voice to confirm understanding. Writing doesn’t excempt me from being mistaken, even about myself, but I find it impossible to ignore my inner voice when writing.

Going back to these new people in my life, they only know me through my writing. The feedback that they offer, hold adjectives that I wouldn’t have considered to describe myself. ‘Kind’ being one of them. There are two associations I have with ‘kind’:
a) an expression for complimenting a stranger without overstepping boundries and staying at a safe distance while at the same time very politely acknowledging their positive presence and b) on a less formal level a word for a truly good-hearted, selfless person.  So it seems that the ‘true, writing me’ is kind.

Am I kind? I don’t know. Do I try to be kind? I don’t think so. I do however see many beautiful and talented and inspiring people walking this planet. When I was younger, those people were mostly on TV, on book covers or in magazines. Nowadays it’s the people I bump into, either on the street or sitting at the table next to me in a restaurant, the ones I share my working hours with or the ones that take a course with me, it’s my friends, friends of friends, family members and lately, people who like me, like to write. Unlike the famous people, these people often don’t see or don’t dare to face their beauty, their talent and don’t recognise how they inspire and touch people on a daily basis. And so, I try to tell them how I feel and what I see, as often as I possibly can. Nobody is perfect. But we are pretty dam close, and the more we focus on the our strengths rather than our weaknesses, the more we will shine.

If those actions make me kind, so be it and I’ll embrace the ‘kind’ side of me with a big sense of gratitude for all the people I bump into and the ones that bump into me.

Advertisements

~ by spasmicallyperfect on January 14, 2007.

4 Responses to “Kind – the new me?”

  1. oh but you are kind, spaz – you give
    freely of your views and thoughts, your
    honesty and your heart on these pages. how can that not be considered kind? impossible.
    WC

    Thank you.

  2. Just from what I’ve read of you, I got the impression that you are trying to change “your” own world, your own perception of life, beauty, love, nature, etc. I think the response you are getting from others is a direct result of the answers you seek for yourself. Indirectly, you are showing others a new way to look at the world, it’s beauty, and all that it entails.

    Bummer,….I am busted 🙂 . Interesting and probably acurate observation Kim. Guess I am tired of toning down my enthusiam for life and it’s beauty so that others may feel comfortable.

  3. Very interesting post. Perhaps in trying to live up to the ideals we express in our writing, we in turn become better people as well.

    -S

    Yes, I do believe so. At least for me that rings very true. Thank you so much for dropping by S. Be well….

  4. “If you really want to know how I feel about it, ask me to write about it”.

    I see a contradiction. Hear me but because I want to speak but I need to hide just a bit and leave room to say, nope you took that wrong. I don’t think it would be done with malice but as a way to protect your inner self from rejection or some other possible negative assault. Or maybe you like the mystery of it all, to keep people guessing. Or maybe I’ve read more into this than there is. 🙂
    You write well.

    smiles to you and yours,
    Austin of Sundrip Journals

    Thank you Austin. And you’ve got a point and although i am not sure whether that’s a point I was trying to make, it can definately be read that way. I’ll have to think about this one some more….. Thank you so much for sharing your opinion, I appreciate the feedback.

    So – have thought about it. See that’s exactly it, I take a while to figure out my opinions. And it’s not because I am hiding (although I a do admit that this sometimes happens as well) it’s because I have so many conversations going on in my head that I sometimes have a hard time figuring out, where I really stand, between my voice, my parents voice, society’s voice, my teacher’s voice, my loved one’s voice, my old voice, my emotionally fragile voice etc. Believe me it get’s noisy and if if you had met me you would be grinning really widely right now. Good thing I am not a cop, I’d be dead by the time I could make up my mind whether I should shoot or not 🙂 .

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: