Battling MS

Forgotten in a one bedroom apartment

High above the busy city streets.

Her husband had to move on and out,

Needed to live his life and so did her kids.

Now at 50 years, it’s herself and her two letter disease.

She looks at herself in the window and

Wonders how God distributes people’s destinies.

“You choose your own destiny”, she used to say.

But now she can’t remember what she’s done wrong,

nor when the Nurse was there last, it couldn’t have been

just yesterday as her handwritten note insists.

Below her a stream of people have somewhere to go,

Everywhere except her way.

Would anybody even notice, if she didn’t exist?

So she grabs her coat, lifts her heavy legs and walks past the doors

Of people who she doesn’t know and that rarely are home,

Not like the ones in her old neighbourhood.

The Elevator smells bizarre and is full of her reflection

That she doesn’t want to see, but that’s just something else

She cannot control.

Do you think I am strange? She speaks out in the park,

Fallen leafs remind her of even lonelier times ahead.

She wishes she had someone to talk to and yet,

She worries what they might think of her.

“Happy Thanksgiving” a newspaper headline wishes,

meanwhile she cannot remember what to be thankful for,

feeling guilty of not appreciating being alive.


~ by spasmicallyperfect on November 13, 2006.

4 Responses to “Battling MS”

  1. i sense this is a personal commentary. have you someone in your life who suffers from ms? it is tragic when out of the blue demons like these diseases strike. there seems no reason for such senseless suffering. i don’t know if it is the luck of the draw or part of God’s master plan – i only know it is sad.
    Yes, it is sad. While montoring calls in our support call center, I witnessed the call of this lady who made me understand how MS affects lives and how easy it is to overlook the amount of lonely people that there are in our society especially if we ourselves have busy lifes. It affected me and as usual, that results in having to write it down. Maybe next time when we see ‘a loner’ in a park, we might go up to them and ask how their day is going. I know I will.

  2. it’s funny you should mention this – i have always had this habit even when i was a young child. in fact, friends have pointed out that i have an odd habit of talking to the most unexpected people (unexpected by them no doubt). but i have always been intensely interested in people regardless of who they are.
    just the other day a lady asked me about teas in the supermarket. i came to find out she was selecting items for care packages for service women in the middle east. i gave her a donation on the spot. i’m glad we struck up a conversation – and glad i was able through a via to send a young woman the small comfort of some herbal tea from home.
    truly, i think if people cared a little bit more about the people they pass every day and took some interest – things would be better – if only a little.

    I know people like you and there should be more of you. Thanks for sharing Sarah, again 🙂 .

  3. Spasmic,
    I think this has to be your most touching post.
    How often have we needed someone to reach out to us in our moments…..yet how difficult is it for us to reach out. It’s much easier for me to run to the aid of a lonely animal than a human.
    I will try harder and hope that I can overcome the debilitating hesitation that comes when reaching out, if even just for the sake of companionship for myself.
    Looking forward to reading more from you.

    Thank you QL and I hear you all the way. It’s not always easy, I’m on the selfconcious side myself. Thank you for dropping by and your kind words. Looking forward to seeing you around again.

  4. A very touching poem. very sad and moving.

    Thank you MoR, mostly it’s the truth behind it that is very sad and moving.

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