Winning and losing and moving on

The bottom line.

It’s the bottom line that counts.

At least in winning and losing.

I’ve lost today.

I am not good at losing.

Usually though, I am not good at losing because I know I could have done better, could have studied, trained, worked, believed harder.

This time feels different.

This time I simply wasn’t good enough, not fast enough, not a ‘certain something’ enough.

The competition doesn’t sleep and obviously the world keeps on turning,.

This is harder to swallow then not having worked hard enough.

It’s not that I don’t understand. Putting myself in the other position, I might have done exactly the same thing.

Now I am left with my favourite line “things happen for a reason, even if you can’t see it in that particular moment, they happen for a reason and there always comes a time where you look back on that moment and understand”.

Cool. Hanging on a thread with that one.

How do you get over the fact that you weren’t good or fast enough? How do you get over the fact that you set everything you had on one hand, just to realise that a totally different game was played than you thought you were in.

Nobody left to blame.

I had a boss once, who told me one day that his childhood dream had been to be a Pilot. At that time there was no such thing as corrective eye surgery and his eyesight was not good enough to be accepted into piloting school. He did the nex t best thing, he got himself a private pilot license and worked as groundstaff in an Airline where he could be close to his beloved big planes.

“I like what I do, and I am happy with my life. But I will never shake the feeling of it being ‘the next best thing’.”

He was the best boss I ever had. But I remember thinking, how awful it would have to be living with that knowledge.

Today I feel it.

Today I also would have told him something else. Today I would have pushed as hard as I could to get him to find a way to open his own little airline. It wasn’t that he couldn’t fly, it was just that some rule prevented him from doing it in the only way that he saw possible.

So what does that leave me with?

How do I go about turning my next best thing into the best thing, or in other words how do I still get my best thing?

Probably exactly the way I am doing it right now.

Believing that there is more out there for me then ‘the next best thing’.

Maybe it doesn’t feel that way right now.

But now is a very short moment, if I choose to focus on moving on.

So, yes, it’s the bottom line that counts between winning and losing.

But it’s getting up and keep on trying what makes one succeed.


~ by spasmicallyperfect on September 15, 2006.

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