11 am

 

11am

I hang my head.

Connect in thought.

1 minute isn’t enough

To connect in heart

With people I never knew.

 

I live in a part of the world

Where war happens on TV.

Is it war or more a casualty report?

I hear about the enemy.

But I don’t hear gun shots,

Don’t see blood shed,

Don’t smell fear.

 

I’d like to thank them personally,

Or better ask them questions.

Questions like

‘am I doing your death justice by living my life in peace?’

Or

‘where did you get your courage from’?

 

I remember sitting in museum trenches

Hearing explosions of gun powder and cries,

asking myself over and over again,

how do you rise above that wall

and run into bullet hail?

 

I remember stories about amputations

Without morphine or booze

Meanwhile I complain about paper cuts.

I would have been a chicken soldier.

I would have been a disgrace.

 

‘Women don’t need to fight’

I hear a voice say.

And I think about the wives and mothers

Who never got their husbands back.

I try to imagine what it would feel like

Every time a dark sedan comes down the street.

‘Please God don’t stop here’.

Feeling both happy and guilty when it doesn’t.

 

  

One minute has come and gone,

But I’m not able to pick up where I left of.

They deserve more than a minute.

And yet, nothing seems to make it a fair deal.

I wonder what those soldiers were thinking.

‘I am prepared to die so that others don’t have to.’

I’d die for that.

 

And yet we keep dying.

Not me.

But soldiers, freedom fighters, collateral damage.

More sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, husbands, wives, friends, lovers, friends, neighbours.

Nobody fights to die –

Unless there’s something bigger than death.

Is that something worth it?

Is that something what they thought it would be?

As they watch us now, do they feel betrayed?

Does it matter which side you’re on once you’re dead?

Does heaven care?

And if it doesn’t matter in heaven, then why does it matter down here?

As I raise my head and look heaven bound, I pray your world is at peace.

 

Thank you.

    

~ by spasmicallyperfect on November 12, 2007.