After
Standing at the shoreline
Letting the water tickle my feet
Hoping it will make me laugh
Like you used to.
Your footprints have washed away
But the sea stills smells of you
And while the horizon continues to hold endless possibilities
I am too scared to sail in the dark.
Friends try to push me out
With every morning tide that pulls away
But I need you to make them see
That I need more than that.
Cause they just see me.
And I don’t have the words
That used to flow freely
From your loving eyes.
I can still see your loving eyes
In the calm between the waves.
‘Maybe tomorrow, tomorrow will be a better day’
My thoughts ask the ocean.
‘Oh today will do just fine’
I hear your say.
Maybe.
While reading this, my mind envisioned a conversation between someone who is no longer with us anymore and the someone who still misses them. Whether or not that was your intention, for me it is where I went with it. I love the ocean. Somehow it does seem to soothe and speak to us in ways that are sometimes hard to describe. Still, you do have the words that flow freely. And whenever that person left, however they left, the best part of who they were stayed with you. In your heart. No one can ever take that away, not even the tide. Great poem. kim
This one was a bit of a mix, and that might explain whether my intention didn’t quite come through. I wanted to capture a certain moment and I am pleased if anybody else can envision something when reading my lines. This one will probably undergo a rewrite at some point. Thanks as always for your feedback Kim.
Well, I really liked it. Not sure if I change anything. Regardless, I know how us writers are. Email me if you want and let me know what you were going for. I’d love to hear it. Still like the poem though. I wouldn’t just say that to you.
I expect nothing less of you
!
Hm, yes, will have to probably write an e-mail to explain. Maybe “Crimson Moon” and “Crimson Moon 2″ helps indicate what I meant, in the sense that it’s not a full rewrite but one that’s not finished….. (And if I knew how to link to a poem within my blog I would. Probably like any other link……dah….. at this time I’m already proud that I managed to get the youtube clip in for the first time today! time for bed, will try it tomorrow. Good night, sweet dreams)